I'm FREEEEE - From myself...
I never thought it could happen. I thought me and my ex-bestfriends would be ex-bestfriends for the rest of our lives. I thought I'd always feel sad, angry and guilty about it... Same way as I always thought I would, forever, be keeping the deep, dark secret of how my ex-bestfriend's boyfriend cheated on her with me.
I thought those things would be eating at me for the rest of my life...
But! URIKA! Not anymore! After 2 months of CONSTANT worrys, sadness, bitterness and secretness....
I. Am. FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
How, you may ask?
Easily.
Afrer ages of "I'm sorry" and "It was my fault" and "I'm a new person" crap, I told my ex-bestfriend why I REALLY stopped being friends with her. Cos I was jelous. She always got the boy I wanted, and I was angry and jelous of that. And I got so mad, I turned a bunch of shit on it's head to make it look like she was just a plain damn bad friend.
And you know what?
We talked it out AAAAND....
We're friends again.
We ain't gonna be bestfriends, like before. It doesn't work like that. Maybe, in the far away future, but not right now.
MORAL LESSON: Telling the truth... It works.
And now, to COMPLETELY take the piss out of that MORAL LESSON.
The cheating thing?
Yeah, me and (Jesus, now I can't call her my ex-bestfriend... That makes me rather happy!) MY FRIEND (Teeehehehe) were texting (like normal) and I asked her
"How long you going out with your boyfriend now?"
Her: "Not counting all the break-ups? 8 months."
She should count the break-ups. She had other relationships between the break-ups, so did he. She moved on. And, plus, the break-ups were for a couple of months! COUNT THEM!
Anywho...
We were still talking, about make-ing out.
I'm saying I made-out (we call it MEETING) with 5 people.
Let me explain...
1.) Random, fugly 5th year at a disco. It was desperate!
2.) My ex (First boyfriend, also desperate)
3.) NIAMH! Yes, a girl. In a mental hospital. SHE JUMPED ON ME!
4.) David (friends boyfriend)
5.) Francis (No, we didn't make-out. He kissed me. But, like, whatever!!)
Anyway, she's met THREE! I was like "Whhhha?!" I thought SHE had met more people than ME. She always gets the guy, right?!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!
So, I said this. In an attempt to win her "Yeah, well, I'm still great than you" battle-thingy, she says
"Well, I was meant to meet Sully (whoever dat it) the other day, but me and Dave out back together so I didn't."
BING!! Lightbulb goes off in my head. Teeehehehe...
We talk for abit, then I say
"Hey, do you think David would be mad if you DID meet that lad?"
"Dave...?"
"Yeah, like, if HE had met a person when ye broke up, would YOU be mad?"
"No. Why...?"
Haha. Sorted.
"Well, I met David. But ye had broken up."
"Oh.... Right.... When was this?"
Oh crap. I don't know when they were on or off or whatever. If I say some date when they WERE together, she'll know he cheated with me!!
Me: "Oh, AAAAAGES ago. He said ye were broke up at the time. But ye got back together, like, 2 days later."
"Oh, Ok."
"You're not mad, are you?"
How could she be? She was going to do the same thing he did. Only, he WAS going out with her at the time he met me... But she don't need to know the small details!
"No. He's in love with me so why would I be mad?"
Yeah, I know what that means. TRANSLATION:
"I'm not mad. He says he loves me, so he ain't gonna go off with you bitch, so hands off, ya?!"
I went on about how he ALWAYS says he loves her so so so so so much
(He never does. Her facebook status one day was :,( And I asked him bout it.... He said I dunno. Some boyfriend.)
And she said
"I love him more than anyone ever. He's my everything."
Yes, and you say that about ever guy you go out with. She actually does. She can't tell the difference between REALLY liking, and being in LOVE with someone. She'll learn it though. The hard way. She always says she loves them.
But, you know, if you were THAT much in love with David, why were you gonna meet SULLY?!
The old me would have said that to her. The new me? Thinks it, writes in her blog, and smiles and noddes and her friend. Not you problem, Clodagh. Don't worry bout it.
So, now? I'm free.
No dark spot in my brain that comes out and reminds me of my past mistakes.
I am FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
And happy.
And it is AMAZING.
